Pace is the place for art’s
celebrity arms race
Turning up today is Jay-Z and band
with plenty of fawning art stars in hand
like self absorbed kids
playing in sand
No matter your chops
nothing will stop
the gallery from showing you
the art world from blowing you
There is Franco the blank-o
entrenched in the stable
Isn’t it sad he’s not really able
But who cares he’s cute and well known
So in the gallery there’s always a home
Here’s a nod to worshipping false gods
Adultery, idolatry let’s go on a spending spree
Whose next I can only guess
Kanye, Kim, Mary-Kate and Ashley
We are the collective fantastic sycophantic
Transatlantic, pedantic full of shit and antic
But here is a warning that is needed to be heeded
Let us not forget, who remembers Famous Amos
You can’t have your cake and your cookies too
Can’t we rate artists that are good at what they do
This response to Jay-Z’s Picasso, Baby performance is brought to you by the art market’s resident satirist, Kenny Schachter.